Pitman - The Dirty Helmet Sessions

It Takes a Nation of Tossers unveiled a crotchety old sod from the North wielding a shovel like a microphone and a biscuit-munching catchphrase (“ya get meh?”) flexing like a true OG. A novelty stand-up slash monster made out of cobblestoned England for Son to lighten up with, committed to seven-inch vinyl and sending the coal scuttle flying with random Shirehorses-groomed hilariousness, a predating mixture of the foul-mouthed Nan from The Catherine Tate Show and the targets on Scroobius Pip’s hitlist. The old sod was Pitman, once described by music press as “the bastard offspring of Alan Partridge, John Shuttleworth and Avid Merrion.”  
The follow up Pit Closure, despite some funny moments, suggested the comic creation had already outstayed his welcome, though the 7” Music Maker/Feel the Horn showed there was life in the old dog yet. Now comes the stopgap album, a few vinyl-only releases and back cat bric-a-brac. Never mind being given another set of dope hip-hop beats, once again, key to the entertainment is when Pitman actually rhymes close to properly (as on the car boot-browsing, James Blunt-chiding Words 2¸ where Pits gets spiritual), rather than reeling off random lines of antagonism as if he’s spiralling off into dementia (as per Bright Side of The Fence).
 
Pitman epitomises the old timer who’ll tell the kids on the back of the bus exactly what he thinks of them, and half his attraction is wondering which celebrities are next in his line of fire. Pitman’s latest red carpet call-outs, still done in a “you smell of poo” appraisal five year olds will find side-splitting, heaps it on Ulrika Jonsson, The Sugababes, Atomic Kitten, Jamie Oliver, Trevor Nelson, vocoders (“you sound like a fucking dalek who’s fell down some steps”) and anything else that causes grief pangs. And he definitely remains up there with Edan as one of the greatest swearing mouths on record, as evidenced on Latin Bingo.

It Takes Tea spouts reality over Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock. The Breaks rocks cornerstone hip-hop funk grooves. Pitinator discharges garbage over the theme tune to The Equaliser. Phone Pitman 2 is an extended skit down a mobile. Rocket science this ain’t; as something for the most inane of funny bones, it has a solid success rate. The next move? It’s probably the right time to either kill Pitman off or at least send him back down the mine for some considerable time. A closing epic charting Pitman’s demise in one final blockbusterof soundbites could be just the send-off for the undefeatable nemesis of Pharaohe Monch and Jay-Z. Fans will need The Dirty Helmet Sessions, as much as something to pep up tea breaks with a side dunking of politically incorrect digestives as for completion purposes.